Crazy going slowly am I 654321 switch...

This is it...Down to the wire, crunch time, last two weeks of term before finals, and I'm CLINGING to sanity. Luckily, finals are over early (Dec 10) and I have only a day short of a full month to recover before heading back to class in January.

I did a great series of creative writing workshops this fall, which have sparked a few interesting concepts and ideas that may or may not find their way here.

My grandfather passed away only an hour after my last journal post. Relations with my 'other family' are better now then they have been in years...I just wish it hadn't taken his death to make it happen.

I'll post again when I come up for air after finals, if not before.

Love to all

Me

Tonight, a man is dying. A man who held me on his lap when I was a baby and 'saved me' from my wicked Mother who wanted to take me home. A man is dying who used to push the sugar bowl closer to me so I could lick a finger and steal a sweet taste. A man is dying who has been a son, father, brother, grandfather, and he's only 65. They've turned off all his machines and are just waiting for him to let go.

I haven't seen him in 2 years. He's the father of my biological father. Blood is thicker than water in this family, and when it came to choosing between their son and his children they chose their son, and backed away from my sisters and I, leaving us to make our own way and occasionally sending cards and presents, when they remembered.

But, there is a little of that clannishness in me, because I have checked with the hospital at least 3 times tonight, and if he makes it through the night I'll be there tomorrow morning, even though he may not know it.

Tonight I spoke to my biological father. He sounded subdued, not the towering, angry, incomprehensible man I remember. Is this because he's changed, or I've changed, or simply because his father is in there dying? I don't know. He's given me an e-mail and a phone number. I'll write. I'll call. I'll see what happens.

It's been an odd night, tonight.

I have a paper to get a GOOD start on tonight (1500-2000 words on setting in Wuthering Heights and Possession: A Romance. Please kill me) and I figure I ought to get all of the random junk out of my head before I do this.

I hate school right now, but I have to stick these courses out until at least January, when I get to take my new ones. I just don't see the point in writing paper after paper and discussing book after book when all I really want to be doing is curling up in the lap of someone special and creating character after character, finally putting all of myself into my writing.

Well, I find there's not nearly so much to say as I thought. Off I go into Victorian literature...It's frightening that that's making me groan...

Hey everyone! I realised I hadn't posted in a long time, so here it is. Midterm break here at good old MUN starts in a few hours, and MAN, am I ever looking forward to it.

I'm doing really well, no complaints here, just a little overworked and writers' blocked.

I'll catch you all on the flip side

Wherever that is

Love
Me

Cadyna Isabella’s Hip: Slow down! I ache! I have no idea what you did to me, but every step you take now gets to be moderately painful when it shouldn’t be! HELLO! Slow down! Why aren’t you listening?

Cadyna Isabella’s Brain: It doesn’t hurt that much. Going to the doctor would be pointless. He can’t tell you what you did to Hip. Plus, if we go to our Surgeon he might find something really wrong with us. Suck it up, Princess.

Cadyna Isabella’s Conscience: I really oughtn’t to call the Surgeon. That will only worry everyone, plus it will likely mean taking time off from work or school. I already have hours to make up for work, and I can’t afford to miss any school so early in the year. What if I do have to have another surgery? That would ruin everything...Better to say nothing and pop some anti inflamatories and hope it goes away. It’s not BAD pain anyway. It’s just scary persistent pain that shouldn’t exist. Where’s the Advil (tm)? And I don’t need to rest...I barely do anything as it is.

Cadyna Isabella’s older and wiser friend with the same condition: Slow down. Rest. You look and sound ready to crash. And call the doctor. Please.

Tayley-Chan: Slow down and listen to people who know you better than you do...

Cadyna Isabella’s heart: I...don’t know what to do. This is scary. Help.